What I'm Like without Glutithione... Meltdown

I didn't realize I was down to my last dose of glutathione, and it takes about a week turn around or more for my Dr to send the prescription to the special pharmacy who then sends it by mail. Well I am on about a week of no glut... The longest I've ever gone, and it's not pretty. One good thing out of it all is knowing that my body needs IV glutathione every 4 days, and then I'm usually doing pretty good afterwards. Without it, I lose my balance, trip over everything including my own feet, drop everything (almost as if my brain doesn't quite tell my hand to grip the object hard enough), I become very shaky, nauseated, sometimes headaches and migraines, and I get very emotional. I call it my "meltdown". I've realized when it happens that I over react about everything and I'm overly sensitive and emotional about everything. So I have to say to myself "is this my thoughts and feelings, or is this the Lyme speaking?". 

So the other day I was on the verge of a meltdown and usually I want to go for a drive when this happens to be alone, so I got in the car, turned on my music and drove. I was feeling a little more put together a little later, until I noticed a Motorcycle Officer with his lights on and I passed an apartment complex full of multiple ambulances, fire truck and police...a firefighter walking by the open back of an ambulance with a patient in the back... And then I lost it, I just started to cry. I feel like never again will I be apart of the family/brotherhood that I had worked so hard and loved being apart of with all my heart and soul. I keep thinking it will get easier with time to let my dream go, and maybe it will. But for now it feels like every time I drive by a fire truck, an ambulance, drive past a station, see medics, EMTs, and fire personnel, or watch movies about fire/ems, it's like ripping off a bandage and ripping a piece of my heart out every time. It's still a very fresh painful wound no matter how hard I try to hide it. That's my rant for the day... I can really tell my body needs glut because I feel terrible physically and feel like crying about everything.